Tookie & Tim Released



Kindle coverLate last year, after receiving complaints that Tookie Before Tim wasn’t long enough, I floated the idea of writing an alternate version to our protagonists’ relationship. These thoughts have become a 51,000 word I-don’t-know-what-to call-it. It’s short for a novel and too long for a novelletta. So, I’ll just call it an ebook. Written in first person, like the rest of the Tookie series, most from her POV. Some is written from his POV to provide some perspective to her sometime-flawed interpretation of events. Unlike Tookie Before Tim, which is G-rated, this book deserves no less than an R-rating for its often-humorous sex scenes Tookie is known for. It overlaps Only Tim Sent Flowers, but all I will say is that she gets more out of their relationship this time. If you’ve purchased Only Tim Sent Flowers, email me at and I’ll get a free copy of Tookie & Tim to you.

My intent for this opus is to increase interest in the Tookie series, not to sell this books. To increase the accessibility of Tookie & Tim to readers, I’m making it free to as many people as possible by putting it up on Kindle Select. Priced at only $0.99, it is my understanding that Kindle Unlimited subscribers get to read it for free. In addition to that, I believe I get to make it free for something like five selected days. Some research is necessary to figure out how to make all this happen.

By the time you read this, Tookie & Tim will be available from KDP.

Enough of this. I have to get back to Mata Hara Tookie, the working title for the next book in the series.

Monetizing the Vagina

A couple of weeks shy of five years ago, I wrote about vagina steaming and swore off paying attention to Gwyneth Paltrow’s ridiculous opinions. Perhaps, I have been remiss in not bringing attention to things she promotes. Since then, an OB/GYN physician recommended against the V-steams Paltrow was exalting on her website. At least one woman, a Canadian, has suffered second-degree burns to her most private parts. Probably more have but won’t admit to being so stupid and foolish.


GOOP jade eggjpgI missed Paltrow’s other campaigns to exploit women’s vaginas. I’m unaware of products she endorses for women without vaginas or men with them. In 2017 or thereabout she started advertising jade eggs for $55 to $66 because they “…balanced out her hormones.” Instructions for proper use included: “recharge it in the full moon just the way you would a crystal,” and “wrap the egg in silk….and store it on an alter—it should take a sacred place in your life” along with a pre-instruction ritual. I am not making this up. The California consumer protection office sued her for making unscientific claims about the benefits of using these eggs. She settled for $145,000.


Now she is selling a $75 candle on GOOP that Paltrow said, “This smells like a vagina.” Not having ever been close enough to hers to comment on its odor, I will take her at her word that the candle does indeed smell like hers. To educate the uninformed, her site describes the aroma as “a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.” It is far past my poor olfactory senses to even imagine the smell GOOP described. I leave that to the reader.


Perhaps the most important thing about the candle is that it was sold out and Paltrow is having difficulty meeting the demand for it.



Tookie and Tim

Some who have read Tookie Before Tim would have liked the book to have been longer and to have delved into Tookie’s relationship with Tim. I am considering extending the story (renaming it Tookie & Tim) to include their early dating life from the beginning of Only Tim Sent Flowers but having their relationship evolve much differently. I will make this book available free to those who purchased Tookie Before Tim, assuming enough demand exists for me to write it.

What do you think about this?



Only Tim Sent Flowers price slashed

OTSF front cover w outlineJust in time for Christmas, Amazon has slashed the price of Only Tim Sent Flowers, the book that tells Tookie’s coming-of-age story, to $1.24 for the Kindle version and $1.23 for the paperback. It’s anyone’s guess how long they keep prices this low, so you’ll need to hurry if you want a copy of this well-reviewed book almost for free. It’s doubtful they will replenish their print version inventory at this giveaway price.

Get you copy here:

Midwest Book Review raved about it:

An imaginative, entertaining, fascinating read from beginning to end, George Kaplan’s “Only Tim Sent Flowers” is an extraordinary novel by a writer with a genuine flair for novelty and narrative driven storytelling complete with unexpected twists and turns. While unreservedly recommended, especially for community library Contemporary General Fiction collections, it should be noted for personal reading lists that “Only Tim Sent Flowers” is also available in a digital book format.

Reviews Are Coming In


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TGU Draft CoverReviews of Tookie Goes Undercover are trickling in. My challenge now is to find reading groups who might be interested in following Tookie’s escapades.

“Tookie Goes Undercover” is the latest novel by George Kaplan featuring the escapades of Tookie. Tookie has a unique outlook and zest for life, and her adventures will keep readers enchanted from the first page to the very last sentence.

Tired of a marriage that has been dead for years, Tookie branches out into the dating world. Trying to find a man that can keep up with her lascivious needs is not easy. Tookie is on fire and the men in her life just cannot meet her needs for the long term. When Tookie finds out that her job is going to be axed, she is dismayed because it will be hard for her to find another one. She is in her sixties and feels she will be in low demand. Her interest is piqued however, when she is offered the chance to be a spy.

Having previously read “Only Tim Sent Flowers,” I loved being able to follow along with Tookie on her latest adventure. I think most middle-aged women will enjoy living vicariously through her. Even if we really would not want to be doing all the things that she does, it is still a welcome relief to enjoy everything through her eyes. Tookie has adventures and misadventures that had me laughing out loud. Her insatiable lust for life carries over well through the pages. She also has many funny nicknames for private body parts.

George Kaplan did an excellent job of carrying Tookie’s character past her middle ages. I also enjoyed his ability to develop a creative plot – the writing is engaging, entertaining and quite fabulous. I have to admit that I never have read anything quite like this book before! “Tookie Goes Undercover” is a must read for middle-aged and post middle-aged women. It would be a perfect selection for women’s reader groups.

Paige Lovitt for Reader Views

In Publishing Limbo



On May 23, little more than a week after Tookie Goes Undercover, the third in the Tookie series, was released, my publisher circulated royalty reports for the most recent quarter. Describing the results had been disappointing, as they had for many small publishers, they offered to release rights back to any authors who wanted them to do that. Not desiring to search for a new publisher at this time, I decided to hold pat for a while and work on the next book in the series, working title Mata Hari Tookie.

I plodded on for a couple of weeks until June 10 when Lauri, the acquisitions editor, announced that Black Opal Books was being purchased and that she was retiring. The current owner is in ill health and had to sell the business. The change in ownership will be effective on July 1. She stated that the new publisher would honor all contracts. The Black Opal message board hummed with activity, mostly thanks to Lauri for all she had done for us and best wishes on her well-deserved retirement. No one guessed at who the new publisher was. I surely didn’t have a clue.

Yesterday, June 13, Lauri wrote that a David Allen would be the new acquisitions editor and that he was very experienced and seemed very nice. A search of the name David Allen returned several different people but none seemed to me to be the right one. I guess I’ll just have to wait to find out. My biggest hope is that the new publisher has the resources to promote the Tookie series.

Tookie Goes Undercover Now Available

TGU Draft CoverTookie Goes Undercover, the third in the Tookie series, is being released this Saturday, May 18 in both print and ebook formats. Copies are available from both the usual on-line resellers and the publisher, Black Opal Books. Order your copy and save 15%:

It can also be pre-ordered at:

Advance reading copies (ARCs) are available. Contact me at if you’re interested in reviewing it.

If you’re not familiar with Tookie or my writing, here is what The Midwest Book Review had to say about the first Tookie book:

“An imaginative, entertaining, fascinating read from beginning to end, George Kaplan’s Only Tim Sent Flowers is an extraordinary novel by a writer with a genuine flair for novelty and narrative driven storytelling complete with unexpected twists and turns. While unreservedly recommended, especially for community library Contemporary General Fiction collections, it should be noted for personal reading lists that “Only Tim Send Flowers” is also available in a digital book format (Kindle, $2.99).”

Download Tookie Before Tim for FREE

tookie before tim fb bgReaders have had questions about Tim and Tookie’s early lives, particularly hers, because they are complicated characters who were impacted by their childhoods. Tookie Before Tim is intended to answer those questions. It might also encourage some people to read the Tookie series. This little ebook tells the life stories of the title characters from birth up to the fateful day on which they first met. Only Tim Sent Flowers starts where this book leaves off.

Asperger’s was unknown when Tookie was a girl and, when it was finally identified as a syndrome on the autism spectrum, it was believed to be a strictly male issue. Girls weren’t believed to have it. So, it never occurred to Tookie’s parents or teachers that she might be on the autism spectrum. Thus, she has had to proceed through life unaware of the possibility.

Today and tomorrow, I’m giving it away FREE to anyone who wants to download it. It can be read on the Kindle device or the Kindle reader available for computers.

You can get it here:

If you like it or if it increases your interested in reading more about her, email me at If you feel like it, send me a blurb.

Tookie Is the Maid-of-Honor This Time

2019 Reader Views Humor awards 150dpiIt’s happened again. Tookie was selected as a finalist for the Reader Views Literary Awards for 2018-2019 Humor category. The awards have been announced and, once again, Tookie doesn’t get to wear the white wedding gown. This time she’s the maid-of-honor, being the runner-up.

The cover, designed by Black Opal Books’ artist Jack, stands out among the other finalists as seen below. Unfortunately, Facebook considered the photo too suggestive because Tookie’s pulling down her panties and wouldn’t accept ads with the cover in them. So, I had to cover them up with a box containing “Banned by Facebook.” Now, I can cover the descending drawers with a sticker.

If you’d like to know about Tookie’s early life, read the free ebook Tookie Before Tim. If you don’t have Amazon Prime, just email me at to get a copy.

Tookie Gets Selected Again

FMW cover w RV seal.pngIt’s happened again. One of my books has been selected as a finalist for an award. The previous times, my creations ended up as runner-ups, not the winner. Finding Mr. Wrong is in the running for Reader Views Literary Awards for 2018-2019 Humor category. Let’s hope Tookie gets to wear the beautiful white wedding gown this time instead of another ugly bridesmaid dress.

Reader View’s reviewer said this about my writing:

“Wow, this book was such an entertaining read! I fell in love with the author’s voice immediately. With a quick wit, a seemingly limitless imagination, and a sharp tongue, Kaplan brings Tookie to life in full magnificent display. Tookie’s trysts from man-to-man and bed-to-bed in search of the perfect partner are hilarious, and Kaplan uses his gift with dialogue to keep the story flowing almost impulsively, and always enticingly. What I want to know is how does Kaplan capture the very essence of Tookie’s personality? It’s almost like he has lived through her experiences directly! So fun!”

It’s nice to be appreciated but it would also be nice to win sometime.