Category Archives: vibrator

Reviews Are Coming In

17 Wednesday Jul 2019

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TGU Draft CoverReviews of Tookie Goes Undercover are trickling in. My challenge now is to find reading groups who might be interested in following Tookie’s escapades.

“Tookie Goes Undercover” is the latest novel by George Kaplan featuring the escapades of Tookie. Tookie has a unique outlook and zest for life, and her adventures will keep readers enchanted from the first page to the very last sentence.

Tired of a marriage that has been dead for years, Tookie branches out into the dating world. Trying to find a man that can keep up with her lascivious needs is not easy. Tookie is on fire and the men in her life just cannot meet her needs for the long term. When Tookie finds out that her job is going to be axed, she is dismayed because it will be hard for her to find another one. She is in her sixties and feels she will be in low demand. Her interest is piqued however, when she is offered the chance to be a spy.

Having previously read “Only Tim Sent Flowers,” I loved being able to follow along with Tookie on her latest adventure. I think most middle-aged women will enjoy living vicariously through her. Even if we really would not want to be doing all the things that she does, it is still a welcome relief to enjoy everything through her eyes. Tookie has adventures and misadventures that had me laughing out loud. Her insatiable lust for life carries over well through the pages. She also has many funny nicknames for private body parts.

George Kaplan did an excellent job of carrying Tookie’s character past her middle ages. I also enjoyed his ability to develop a creative plot – the writing is engaging, entertaining and quite fabulous. I have to admit that I never have read anything quite like this book before! “Tookie Goes Undercover” is a must read for middle-aged and post middle-aged women. It would be a perfect selection for women’s reader groups.

Paige Lovitt for Reader Views

Tookie Is the Maid-of-Honor This Time

15 Friday Mar 2019

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2019 Reader Views Humor awards 150dpiIt’s happened again. Tookie was selected as a finalist for the Reader Views Literary Awards for 2018-2019 Humor category. The awards have been announced and, once again, Tookie doesn’t get to wear the white wedding gown. This time she’s the maid-of-honor, being the runner-up.

The cover, designed by Black Opal Books’ artist Jack, stands out among the other finalists as seen below. Unfortunately, Facebook considered the photo too suggestive because Tookie’s pulling down her panties and wouldn’t accept ads with the cover in them. So, I had to cover them up with a box containing “Banned by Facebook.” Now, I can cover the descending drawers with a sticker.

If you’d like to know about Tookie’s early life, read the free ebook Tookie Before Tim. If you don’t have Amazon Prime, just email me at GeorgeQKaplan@gmail.com to get a copy.

Tookie Gets Selected Again

05 Tuesday Mar 2019

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FMW cover w RV seal.pngIt’s happened again. One of my books has been selected as a finalist for an award. The previous times, my creations ended up as runner-ups, not the winner. Finding Mr. Wrong is in the running for Reader Views Literary Awards for 2018-2019 Humor category. Let’s hope Tookie gets to wear the beautiful white wedding gown this time instead of another ugly bridesmaid dress.

Reader View’s reviewer said this about my writing:

“Wow, this book was such an entertaining read! I fell in love with the author’s voice immediately. With a quick wit, a seemingly limitless imagination, and a sharp tongue, Kaplan brings Tookie to life in full magnificent display. Tookie’s trysts from man-to-man and bed-to-bed in search of the perfect partner are hilarious, and Kaplan uses his gift with dialogue to keep the story flowing almost impulsively, and always enticingly. What I want to know is how does Kaplan capture the very essence of Tookie’s personality? It’s almost like he has lived through her experiences directly! So fun!”

It’s nice to be appreciated but it would also be nice to win sometime.

The Autoblow 2+XT

25 Sunday Nov 2018

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Inflatable doll headLast time, I ended by saying I’m fearful of being obsoleted by technology. That’s not entirely true. No machine could ever be developed to give a blow job to compare with mine. However, many men aren’t so discerning and are happy with whatever quality they get. That fact was proven by the popularity of inflatable sex dolls over the years. Although crude, not lifelike and inert, lonely men unable to have relationships with women bought them by the thousands.

Over the years, the technology improved, at a much higher price, and lifelike sex dolls were created. They became so popular that one of them was the focus of a 2007 movie, Lars and the Real Girl. Anatomically correct Bianca was an order of magnitude more expensive than the inflatable sex dolls and could be posed in numerous positions. None of this was shown in the film.

In recent years, actual sex robots have been developed and are being used in brothels. Fortunately for us women, they are more expensive than most men can afford. Not so expensive special-purpose robots have also been developed. Those that perform oral sex on men are the ones that worry me. So far, the ones on the market are so basic in function that they can’t compete with a skilled woman. No man I’ve ever blown would pick one of these over getting the real thing from me.

Autoblow 2+XTA new model, the Autoblow 2+XT, has been announced and claims to have features that rival or exceed most women’s repertoires. For starters, it is hands free—if the man wedges it between pillows and lays on top of it—has two speeds and has five arms of beads that grip tighter than in previous models to give a more realistic feeling.

One of its purported strengths is that it doesn’t require batteries because it plugs into an ordinary electrical socket. That gives me a tremendous advantage. I don’t require electricity of any sort and get especially turned on just being in the woods.

As always,

Tookie

I Read Too Nuch

29 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by in Asperger's, Finding Mr. Wrong, humor, Jersey girl, red hair, serial monogamy, vibrator, women's fiction

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Beautiful Red Head Woman With Freckle SmilingAnother review just came in for Finding Mr. Wrong. This one is from Patricia Hamill of I Read Too Much fame:

Finding Mr. Wrong is exactly as described. Tookie is back, and in her direct way, she has begun her search for a man who will provide her with a daughter and stick around to help her raise her. This story, while channeling Tookie’s quest in a straightforward manner, still tugs at the heart. All the close, but not quite right fits. Tookie has her standards. And then she’s running out of time. Truly, I found myself fretting at her single-mindedness. Her lowering of standards in favor of getting the one thing she refuses to give up, a daughter of her own. But though it frustrated me, it came across as true to character. And in the end, she really doesn’t mind landing with Mr. Wrong, so long as she gets what she signed up for in the bargain.

The struggle to control her urges and desires in her quest to land a stable father for her future daughter added an interesting edge to this installment in Tookie’s story. There’s a lot of growth for her, and she tackles much of her previously destructive behavior in the process.

On the downside, I found it hard at times to suspend reality and accept her as a realistic portrayal of a woman. She can be jarring in her words and tendencies. I’m not entirely certain whether it was intentional or otherwise. I want to believe it was intentional. Overall, I really liked the story, though I was frustrated for Tookie. Folks who enjoyed Only Tim Sent Flowers will likely enjoy this one, too.

 

Review of Finding Mr. Wrong

26 Thursday Apr 2018

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Reader Views masthead

This review of Finding Mr. Wrong just arrived:

Reviewed by Sheri Hoyte for Reader Views (4/18)

“Finding Mr. Wrong” is the fascinating sequel to “Only Tim Sent Flowers” by George Kaplan, featuring Tookie, a girl on a mission. Her goal: to have a child – well, more specifically, a daughter of her very own. With the days of her reproductive opportunities whittling away, there’s no time to be picky with her prospects, any sperm donor will do. Or will they? After several ‘Mr. Wrongs’ Tookie realizes she wants her daughter to have a father figure in her life – an inconvenience to be sure, drastically limiting the number of qualifying candidates, as well as the chance for success.

Wow, this book was such an entertaining read! I fell in love with the author’s voice immediately. With a quick wit, a seemingly limitless imagination, and a sharp tongue, Kaplan brings Tookie to life in full magnificent display. Tookie’s trysts from man-to-man and bed-to-bed in search of the perfect partner are hilarious, and Kaplan uses his gift with dialogue to keep the story flowing almost impulsively, and always enticingly. What I want to know is how does Kaplan capture the very essence of Tookie’s personality? It’s almost like he has lived through her experiences directly! So fun!

Tookie’s character is only matched, in my opinion, by Rose, mother of one of Tookie’s conquests. Rose is on a mission as well – to find a vessel for her son to provide her with grandchildren. When Rose and Tookie go head-to head, it’s hard to imagine who will come out on top. “Finding Mr. Wrong” is character-driven action at its finest.

I have a horrible habit of reading series books out of order, and though “Finding Mr. Wrong” stands solidly on its own, I will definitely be back-pedaling to read “Only Tim Sent Flowers,” so I can learn more about how Tookie came to be the woman she is in this story. I highly recommend “Finding Mr. Wrong” by George Kaplan as an engaging humorous read that will leave readers wanting more.

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Second Tookie Book Released

24 Saturday Mar 2018

FMW cover with outline.pngLast Saturday, even though Tookie wasn’t wearing green, her favorite color, probably due to her red hair, her publisher, Black Opal Books, released the second book in the series named after her. Finding Mr. Wrong picks up where Only Tim Sent Flowers left off. After being dumped unceremoniously by Isaac and convalescing with first boyfriend Tim, Tookie unwinds on a windjammer cruise unmolested (her satirical term for making out, an activity she thoroughly enjoyed) with girls from work.

A chance remark by one of her shipmates, who’d had too much wine, piqued her curiosity about mechanical devices as a substitute for a man on dateless nights. After a few tests, she shelved her long-held restriction against props.

Her biological clock ticked deafeningly and no vibrator could get her the daughter she longed to have. Acquiring a husband and getting pregnant, not necessarily in that order, became her highest priority. She broadened her filter and accepted dates from men should would have ignored before. Tookie’s main criteria became an income capable of supporting her daughter in the manner she wished she had lived and an ability to impregnate her. She even started going to church.

She “auditioned” man after man, but none proved adequate until she was set up on a blind date with an engineer her age who still lived at home. That his old-country mother wanted grandchildren was a major point in his favor. But would his mother squelch the deal after her P.I. uncovered some of Tookie’s indiscretions?

If you’re interested in reviewing Finding Mr. Wrong, contact me.

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Finding Mr. Wrong

15 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in Asperger's, Fiction writing, humor, Jersey girl, masturbation, red hair, vibrator, women's fiction

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FMQ front coverThis has been a productive week already and it’s far from over. Finding Mr. Wrong, the second book in the Tookie series, is moving rapidly toward release. The editor’s comments weren’t hard to accommodate and I didn’t find too many typos to correct, on this goround at least. So, I was able to submit the revised manuscript for final edits. Soon, PDFs will arrive in my inbox for me to review.

Hardly any time later, a draft cover awaited my comments. Black Opal Books’ artist selected an image that suggested a scene in the book. The only problem was that the sexy woman in the photo was wearing spike heels. Forget about those. Tookie never wears high heels, even short ones. Photoshopping clodhoppers over them didn’t work. Photos that might have worked were in the wrong aspect ratio for a book cover: they had a horizontal orientation instead of vertical as needed. Eventually, I found a photo of a woman in a red dress with great legs—and no shoes.

The artist gave it a try, and it works. I’ll leave to the reader what scene inspired the artist. For a hint, read Only Tim Sent Flowers while you wait for Finding Mr. Wrong to be in print. Fortunately, that won’t be too long. It is scheduled for release in both print and ebook versions in March.

Sex Best at 66?

07 Wednesday Feb 2018

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In its eighth annual Singles In America report, on-line dating site Match.com recently polled 5,000 people and had some interesting findings. Perhaps the most enlightening thing was that 66 is the best age for sex for women and 64 for men, not for decades-younger singles with more nubile bodies. Not surprising is that women are 70% less tolerant of bad sex than men. After all, many men are happy to have any sex, exciting or otherwise, where single women can get sex any time they want it, although not necessarily with the man they most want.

Women have had avenues for what they consider good sex for decades. Vibrators are available in such a large variety that a woman need never get bored pleasuring herself. A combination of the machines’ functions, the woman’s skill in using them, and how her body reacts to various ways of being stimulated provide her with an almost infinite number of ways to escape boredom. Men do not have such options—yet.

Woman with male sex robotSex robots are just now becoming available for men, although far from perfected as yet. Thirty-one percent of men say they would have sex with a robot but only fifteen percent of women admit being willing to consider doing it with a robot. Not stated was how many single women admit to using vibrators regularly. A cynic might conclude that, since women find their electrified experiences so good, few see a reason for spending thousands of dollars for an ersatz male with a human-like penis. Perhaps, having the option to replace the mechanical male organ with any of a number of vibrators might make androids more intriguing.

Something men would like to know is how sex for women a little younger or older than 66 stacks up to experiences at that age. If satisfaction spikes up at that magical age, focusing on dating 66-year-old women to the exclusion of others would make sense. Or, does pleasure ramp up to the peak and decline slowly from it. Inquiring minds want to know.

Big Brother Monitors Women’s Orgasms

16 Thursday Mar 2017

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A recent article on Consumerist.com reveals intrusion into private sex lives that even Orwell didn’t think of. Fortunately, the government, in this case, didn’t outlaw sex and wasn’t doing the spying. It was a private company. In fact, an Illinois court (always a good place to file a product liability suit) fined Standard Innovation, maker of We-Vibe 4 Plus vibrators $3.75 million for its spying. That’s has to be enough to get the manufacturer of a specialty product’s attention.

It seems unlikely that all $3.75 million will be collected from the class-action suit because individual customers may not be willing to identify themselves to claim the $199 due those who simply bought a We-Vibe 4 Plus. Users of the accompanying We-Connect app may be more willing because they are due about $10,000 each. Why the difference, you ask?

The app allows the vibrator to be controlled via cell phone with a Blue Tooth connection. Such things as mode and intensity can be adjusted from the cell phone screen. For a better explanation see: http://we-vibe.com/app.
Where the company got in trouble was for intercepting and capturing on their servers data regarding customers’ use of the vibrator such as when and for how long and which settings they selected.

How many people, especially women, will be willing to publicly acknowledge that they not only use a vibrator but which model they use for a mere $199. App users may find $10,000 more enticing. One would expect that there will be more takers for this amount.

Recent Wikileaks releases suggest that the U.S. government may have the ability to gather the same, if not more, data than did the Canadian company that sells its vibrators worldwide.

Hackers Goldfisk and Follower demonstrated at Def Con 24 conference in Las Vegas how the We-Vibe 4 Plus can easily be remotely activated by anyone who can intercept it with a paired smartphone because the Bluetooth communications between the device and its controlling app aren’t secure.

By now some perverts in the government have already hacked these devices to make mischief. Spies will soon be intercepting the same data that is being sent to the company’s servers and using it to blackmail or at least embarrass people.