Diary

November 30, 1965

I’M GOING ON A DATE!!! Barely two months after moving to Sparport, a boy has asked me out AND I’M GOING!!! They wouldn’t let me go to the movies with him but he got my hint when I told him, “I can’t go to the movies with you,” and asked me to the basketball game. I barely know Tim but he seems nice and has a car. He lives at the corner. His little brothers—he’s got a bunch of them—play with mine and one is in my class.

The boys at school ignore me but one with a car must like me. I’m not a dateless wonder any more. Nobody’s asked Beth out yet and she’s older than me. Haha.

December 5, 1965

I’VE GOT A BOYFRIEND FINALLY!!! Tim kissed me goodnight and asked me out again. I must not look too bad after all. He’s kinda cute and he likes me. I’ll invite him in next time because I don’t like being seen kissing on the stoop where the whole neighborhood can see me.

February 16, 1966

They grounded me from seeing Tim today but relented when I cried. They think I’m sensitive. I only get to go one a date one night a week but he can come over as long as others are here—and they’re always here.

March 10, 1966

Tim got reclassified 1-A today and would probably get drafted into the army and sent to Vietnam to fight. He joined the Air Force to have better conditions and maybe learn something useful. Daddy told me to be careful with Tim because boys often want something from girls “to remember them by.” No problem. Tim’s like putty in my hand. He gets aroused so easily and do I like how it feels against me. But whenever he tries to feel me up, one cross word and he backs down. He’s in love with me and won’t do anything that would cause him to lose me.

….

July 15, 1968

Happy birthday to me. I’m sweet 18 and never been boned. That should change as soon as Tim’s back in the country. I’ll surely get him to deflower me. The last ten months’ve been especially rough for me. The move to New Jersey was traumatic both academically and socially. My senior year was already underway when we moved in and the school was much tougher than Sparport. The kids are smarter, more sophisticated, and much wealthier. The boys worth having were already paired off. A dorky momma’s boy took me to the prom but that wasn’t much fun. Beth married a slug. The best thing about that is not sharing a bedroom for the first time in my life. I couldn’t even line up a job before graduation because I wasn’t 18 yet. Then college kids took most of those that were available. Now, I’ll probably have to wait until they leave in September for anything to open up for me.

September 3, 1968

I don’t know what’s going on with Tim. He’s very affectionate. He brought me back nice gifts from overseas and his hair is bleached blonde from working on the airplanes in the sun. But he doesn’t try to screw me, even when I give him golden opportunities. He talks about getting married. No way. I don’t want to be a lifer’s wifer.

When I came downstairs this morning with hardly anything on after everyone had left for work or school, he got hard instantly, even faster than usual. I figured that would work because he’d only seen me completely covered before. When I pressed myself against him, I got aroused. His steel shaft rubbed me at exactly the right spot. Oooh. I even told him it felt good but he didn’t go farther. He acts like he’s afraid of me.

When I tucked him in tonight, his stomach quivered when I ran my fingertips lightly across it. For a minute I thought his penis was going to explode through his briefs he wanted me so much. Again, he didn’t take things further. I thought about pulling them down to get a better look. He’d have been shocked if I did what I really wanted. I wonder what he tastes like….

December 23, 1968

Almost 18 ½ and still a virgin missing out on the fun the girls at the office are having. Looking forward to Hair. Have to take Mother; Tim’d freak out seeing all the naked people on the stage. He’ll like Man of LaMancha. That’ll be safe.

Won’t get laid over the holidays. The boys’ll be home in the daytime and it’s too cold for a drive-in. Tim’s smart. He ought to figure out a way but doesn’t try. He frustrates me so much I could spit. You’d think he’d know what’s wrong when I give him the cold shoulder except when we’re making out.

April 17, 1969

This weekend I lose my cherry. I’ll take Tim to the drive-in. It’s plenty warm enough now. I’ll wear my easy-attack dress, the loose-waisted one I never wear, with no slip or stockings. Just a bra and panties. I’d like to be naked under it but Mother wouldn’t let me out of the house if she noticed and Tim’d be shocked. Besides that, I like it when he fumbles with my bra but not nearly as much as having my breasts fondled.

April 20, 1969

Just got in from date virtue intact. What a dud. I even had to order him to make out with me. He was watching the movie at a drive-in! He jumped into the back seat and hopped to it after I snapped at him. It was our best make-out session ever but he didn’t even try to fuck me. He had me so wet and dilated, I could’ve taken in a telephone pole. I wonder if I unbuckle his belt he’d get a clue.

May 6, 1969

What a day! Dad announced that he was being transferred to Frostbite Falls, Massachusetts and Tim broke up with me. Mother suggested that I try to get him back. She and Dad like him and want me to marry him someday but aren’t pressuring me. I’ll write him. I can go with them but I like my job and look forward to the freedom I’ll have living alone. I could have Tim in my bed as much as I want if I have my own apartment like girls I work with do. If Tim won’t bang me, I’ll find someone who will.

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