Category Archives: erotica

New Novel Completed

13 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in adventure, erotica, humor, oral sex, Promiscuous, red hair, women's fiction

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My second (third chronologically) novel in the Tookie series, Tookie Goes Undercover, has been completed and submitted to my publisher. This humorous women’s lit with sex and adventure starts with Tookie leaving her emotional wasteland of a husband of twenty years. Love affairs don’t work out and downsizing from the job she loves, leaves Tookie vulnerable to demands from the company and the government to put her numerous skills to work in an undercover operation.

Comments from beta readers have improved it immensely. One reader who enjoyed it asked me how many euphemisms I used for vagina in this book. Having no idea, I perused the text and recorded them on a spreadsheet. Noticing that I’d used numerous other euphemisms as well, probably because Tookie is such a sexual woman, I also logged all the words used for penis, breasts, intercourse, oral sex and masturbation. The first page of the spreadsheet has a column for each category with euphemisms listed in the order they appear in the book. Each category has its own sheet with its euphemisms sorted in alphabetical order. Open the spreadsheet here:  euphemisms

If you’re interested in reviewing Tookie Goes Undercover email me at GeorgeQKaplan@gmail.com. While I wait for a contract from the publisher to arrive, I must get back to writing the third (second chronologically) Tookie book, working title Finding Mr. Wrong.

No More Robotic Sex

04 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in erotica, Only Tim Sent Flowers, oral sex, women's fiction

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One thing I’ve never been accused of is giving robotic sex. Now, it appears that robots may soon become my primary competition for giving a man a good time. Earlier this week, VirtuaDolls jerked their Indiegogo campaign because of—get this—too much response. Most abandoned campaigns fail because of too little interest. Not VirtuaDolls. The builder tweeted, “Had to put the campaign on hold folks! Too much, too fast! We’ll be back shortly after we address a few things.”

This product looks to me to be a poor man’s (I can’t see a woman buying one of these unless she’d prefer subbing out that part of her marriage contract) holodeck[1] in which men would put on a VR helmet and attach the device to where it would give him the most pleasure. He would hold the “programmable pressure gripper,” which can vary how tight it squeezes and the speed of the “stroke motion.” Its sensors detect the power of the man’s thrusts to control the onscreen action. As far as I know the ST:TNG Holodeck didn’t provide these features.

Eos ships VirtuaDolls with an adventure called Girls of Arcadia in which gamers try to save a scantily clad damsel in distress. For those with little time to waste playing a game, “sim mode” allows them to pick a woman and go to it. Apparently, Eos founder William Spracklin thinks a single scenario and sim mode won’t be enough to satisfy customers because he suggested that his current staff doesn’t have the right talents to “help create an amazing experience.”

This is where I might have an opportunity. I love giving phone sex and making up all sorts of kinky scenarios but don’t have the right kind of voice for it. Although a mature woman, I still sound like a little girl. Where can I buy screenwriting software?

Always,

Tookie

[1] Star Trek: The Next Generation featured a room in which “hard light” holograms are created with “holographic projectors” to create virtual realities with interactive stories that were used for entertainment or to practice skills.

Girls of Arcadia

The Early Reviews are Good!!!

08 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Asperger's, coming of age, erotica, Fiction writing, oral sex, Promiscuous, Promiscurity, women's fiction

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It’s out finally! And the early reviews are good!

TAYLOR JONES SAYS: In Only Tim Sent Flowers by George Kaplan, Mary Louise (aka Tookie, although she doesn’t like the nickname) is a young woman with Asperger’s Syndrome, who is obsessed with men and having sex. The story starts out when Tookie is eighteen in 1969. Unhappy with her first boyfriend, who is devoted to her, she sheds him and starts hunting for someone more to her liking. Not especially pretty, and social awkward due to her Asperger’s, she gallops through men like wild horses on stampede. Believing sex is all she has to offer, she begins to study techniques and fully embraces the free love mentality of the sixties. But what she really wants isn’t a non-stop series of one-night stands, it’s a man who will love her for herself and give her the daughter she craves.

I was frankly amazed that Kaplan was able to pen such a realistic, flawed, human, and three-dimensional character who is a female, as that kind of depth in female characters is rare in male authors. You can’t help but empathize with this poor mixed-up girl, who is really very sweet. I give the book 4.4 Stars.

REGAN MURPHY SAYS: Only Tim Sent Flowers by George Kaplan is the story of a young woman who suffers from undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome. Tookie, whose real name is Mary Louise, is raised by overprotective parents who know there is something wrong with her, but they are sure just want it is. She obviously isn’t retarded because she is very, very smart. But she is very socially awkward. Deciding that she isn’t pretty enough to attract men without some added appeal, she begins studying sex techniques, becoming an expert at oral sex. Constantly on the prowl for Mr. Right, Tookie cuts a swath through all her male coworkers, single or married, going easily from job to job and man to man, all the time looking for love with all the wrong people. While in the background, Tookie’s first boyfriend, the only man who truly loves her, keeps waiting for her to come around and see the light.

Only Tim Sent Flowers is a heart-warning, heart-breaking, realistic story of an endearing misfit, struggling to fit in with a world that doesn’t understand those of us who deviate from the norm, whether by choice or disease, and doesn’t really want to. Kaplan handled the subject with both compassion and sensitivity. Bravo. I’m giving Only Tim Sent Flowers 4.6 Stars.

Read the first chapter here: 2x6_bookmark - side 2

 

Yellow is for Herpes, Green is for Chlamydia

29 Monday Jun 2015

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Three UK high school students won a science fair award—one so important the £1,000 prize is being awarded at Buckingham Palace—for inventing a condom sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), VD for you old timers who served in Korea or Vietnam. The two 14-year-old and one 13-year-old boys won the prestigious best health innovation TeenTech award by embedding into the rubber special molecules that adhere to bacteria and viruses. When these molecules attach to an STD, they cause the condom to change colors. Not only does the condom change colors, it fluoresces so that it can even be seen in low light. A feature that makes this invention even more useful is that different colors represent different diseases present: yellow for herpes, green for chlamydia, purple for human papillomavirus, and blue for syphilis. Not known is if special molecules are available to detect gonorrhea or some other STDs. The invention is called S.T. EYE for detecting sexually transmitted diseases by sight.

The news article announcing the invention of S.T. EYE, http://news.islandcrisis.net/2015/06/students-invent-chameleon-condom-that-changes-colour-according-to-std-detected/, discusses using these condoms to determine if a man is lying about or doesn’t know he is infected, his lady (at least for the night) can have him pop one of these babies on and present for a short arms inspection before she lets him mount her. Left undiscussed is how a woman can test herself for infection or how a man can check a woman before infecting himself.

Since the molecules are embedded in the rubber, one would conclude that both sides of the condom would react when exposed to an STD. So, there must be a way for a woman to test herself. Putting a potentially infected man’s member into herself seems unwise but satisfactory alternatives exist. She can unroll an S.T. EYE onto her favorite dildo, vibrator, or vegetable of choice (after remembering to let it reach room temperature first) and slide the prod in, taking care to give it ample opportunity to come in contact with any possibly infected tissue. A man wanting to test a woman can surely convince his lady love that he’s just pleasuring her in a new way.

Steam Cleaning Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

03 Tuesday Feb 2015

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I make a policy of ignoring any reference to Gwyneth Paltrow much like I avert my eyes when photos or, worse yet, videos of Kardashians enter my field of vision lest I be blinded or turned to stone. In Paltrow’s case, it’s to avoid the destruction of much-needed brain cells. However, she recently said or wrote something so bizarre I couldn’t resist reading about it, particularly since it was something that could possibly be fodder for a writer of women’s fiction or erotica. On her appropriately-named website Goop, Paltrow touts the benefits of steam-cleaning her vagina.

The above is not a misprint or typographical error, Gwyneth Paltrow claims her privates need regular V-Steams to function at peak performance. Goop gives instructions on how to give your vagina a proper steaming:

“You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release–not just a steam douche–that balances female hormone levels.” If you’re in LA, “have to do it,” says Paltrow, assuming everyone has a spare $50 to spend on a single 30-minute treatment or $200 for a five-treatment package.

Should the standard herb Paltrow mentions be too hogwartian for your taste, several other herbs can be substituted: basil, calendula, oregano, marshmallow root, wormwood and rosemary.

Jen Gunter, MD thinks Paltrow’s claims are bunk: “Steam isn’t going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT….If you want to feel relaxed, get a good massage. If you want to relax your vagina, have an orgasm.”

But if you’re a writer, bless Gwyneth for being a never-ending muse for concocting kinky or screwball scenes.

 

http://goop.com/city-guide/infrared-saunas-detox-spas-and-the-best-spots-for-colonics/tikkun-spa/

Perfect Aphrodisiac for Aspie Women

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

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Foria2Foria, a new product hitting the news is a marijuana-based aphrodisiac for women expected to hit the shelves of Colorado pot stores next week. The California-based company marketing it claims it to be “the first sexual lubricant designed specifically to improve sex for women.” Foria’s makers claim their product helps women orgasm easier and more deeply but doesn’t get them high.

USA Today reports that it isn’t exactly cheap at $88 for a 1 ounce bottle. How many spritzes can one get out of a 10ml bottle? A 5ml bottle pictured in some articles states that it contains 5 servings, wording not exactly incorrect but perhaps chosen to broaden the marketplace to male customers  because it’s digestible.

This is no date-rape product aimed at males. The instructions show it’s clearly aimed at women as a means to increase their male-optional pleasure: “Apply 4-8 sprays directly onto the clitoris, inner and outer labia and inside the vagina. Each spray contains approximately 2 milligrams of THC. Your body and its needs are unique, so it is recommended that you experiment slowly to learn what serving size is best for you. All 15-30 minutes to relax and absorb the medicine, a great time for foreplay or self-message. Then enjoy alone or with a partner as desired.”

Foria looks like it could be an ideal product for Aspie women to increase their pleasure when they masturbate alone or if on a date. Just duck into the restaurant ladies room before dessert, spritz, and you’ll be ready for a night of pleasure before he’s in your bra.

Right now, it sounds as if it’s available only where marijuana is legal but how long will it take for someone to find a substitute chemical that does the job as well?

I’d Rather Be Masturbating

13 Tuesday Jan 2015

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Upon spotting an “I’d rather be masturbating” license plate frame, a very high functioning Aspie woman I once knew said, “Me too.” In follow-on discussions, she revealed that she enjoyed her vibrators immensely and asked me to participate in phone sex with her—not once or twice but whenever she could steer the conversation in that direction. Only very recently did I realize she was just seeking more variety in the ways she pleasures herself. Thinking logically about sex for once, it makes perfect sense for an Aspie to prefer sex with herself over sex with another person. However, knowing that fact doesn’t make it much easier for a man who falls in love with an Aspie woman and wants emotional involvement from her.

A writer to “Woman With Asperger’s” on WordPress.com shared, “I will say a lot of the aspie women I’ve met and even the last one I dated are very youthful looking and gorgeous….I would even go as far to say she was a sex addict and sex was more of a routine than ever being meaningful.”* He pointed out two of the main problems neurotypical men who date “women of a certain age” face more often than do men who date younger women. Because Aspie women have more difficulties maintaining relationships than NT women, they appear disproportionately in the pool of the uncoupled, a factor which increases the likelihood a man over 30 seeking a relationship will encounter Aspie women in his search for true love. That, as the writer states, Aspie women tend to maintain a youthful appearance dramatically increases the chances men will be drawn to them like flies to honey. Once stuck on her as the writer was, the last part of his quote comes into play. A man in love generally wants his love to be reciprocated, especially in the sex act. Where a man not in love with the Aspie may rejoice in finding such a sexual athlete, a man in love needs emotional involvement Aspie women often cannot provide, possibly because self love, in the physical sense, is enough for them.

*His full comments can be found at: http://womanwithaspergers.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/unique-challenges-for-the-aspie-woman-part-2-functioning-in-a-love-relationship/#more-321

Manuscript at Top of Editor’s Stack

06 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by in Asperger's, coming of age, erotica, Fiction writing, oral sex, Promiscuous, women's fiction

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My publisher informed me that the manuscript for Only Tim Sent Flowers finally popped up to the top of the editor’s to-do stack. This book is my first attempt at fiction, women’s or otherwise, which leaves me uncertain about how extensive her recommended changes will be. Tookie, my protagonist, is highly unusual, if not unique: undiagnosed Aspiegirl with girl next door exterior and Scarlett O’Hara interior. The editor’s comments may be my Christmas present. They will arrive embedded in my Word document. I will have to learn how to use the track changes feature because it is part of the publisher’s workflow and there will likely be two more rounds of editing on just this one book. I’ll have to get more than conversant with it because I’ve finished the first draft of the second book in the Tookie series and have written a few chapters for the third volume.

Follows is the synopsis for Only Tim Sent Flowers:

Only Tim Sent Flowers, a possible first volume for a Tookie series, is the 92,700-word story of an Aspie girl who fully embraces free love while raising herself from near poverty to a six-digit income with bumps and grinds along the way. My first women’s fiction book is lavishly blended with humor and explicit scenes, often combined for unexpected results.

Mary Louise, a bookish redhead nicknamed Tookie by her doting father, dispenses with Tim, her loving but far too serious and conventional first boyfriend, then thrusts herself groinfirst into the 1960s sexual revolution, pioneering concepts such as friends with benefits and serial monogamy while earning two college degrees in statistics. Tim gives Tookie, a freckle-faced 18-year-old virgin who doesn’t consider herself pretty, everything except what she wants most—sex and excitement. Tookie rejects Tim, whom she never completely forgets and who continues to love her, then engages in often humorous escapades with innumerable unsuitable lovers whom she seduces with her oral virtuosity.

Tookie, from whose POV ninety percent of Only Tim Sent Flowers is told, is a unique but captivating woman—girl next door exterior, Scarlett O’Hara interior, Susan Vance in the bedroom. Her story will likely resonate with female readers.