Category Archives: erotica

Reviews Are Coming In

17 Wednesday Jul 2019

Posted by in adventure, Asperger's, erotica, humor, Jersey girl, masturbation, mystery, oral sex, Promiscuous, red hair, Thriller, vibrator, women's fiction

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TGU Draft CoverReviews of Tookie Goes Undercover are trickling in. My challenge now is to find reading groups who might be interested in following Tookie’s escapades.

“Tookie Goes Undercover” is the latest novel by George Kaplan featuring the escapades of Tookie. Tookie has a unique outlook and zest for life, and her adventures will keep readers enchanted from the first page to the very last sentence.

Tired of a marriage that has been dead for years, Tookie branches out into the dating world. Trying to find a man that can keep up with her lascivious needs is not easy. Tookie is on fire and the men in her life just cannot meet her needs for the long term. When Tookie finds out that her job is going to be axed, she is dismayed because it will be hard for her to find another one. She is in her sixties and feels she will be in low demand. Her interest is piqued however, when she is offered the chance to be a spy.

Having previously read “Only Tim Sent Flowers,” I loved being able to follow along with Tookie on her latest adventure. I think most middle-aged women will enjoy living vicariously through her. Even if we really would not want to be doing all the things that she does, it is still a welcome relief to enjoy everything through her eyes. Tookie has adventures and misadventures that had me laughing out loud. Her insatiable lust for life carries over well through the pages. She also has many funny nicknames for private body parts.

George Kaplan did an excellent job of carrying Tookie’s character past her middle ages. I also enjoyed his ability to develop a creative plot – the writing is engaging, entertaining and quite fabulous. I have to admit that I never have read anything quite like this book before! “Tookie Goes Undercover” is a must read for middle-aged and post middle-aged women. It would be a perfect selection for women’s reader groups.

Paige Lovitt for Reader Views

Always a Bridesmaid

28 Thursday Jun 2018

Posted by in Asperger's, autism, coming of age, erotica, Jersey girl, Only Tim Sent Flowers, oral sex, Promiscuous, red hair, serial monogamy

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Being an unknown writer poses numerous challenges these days, chief among them is getting people to read your books. One way of doing that is to enter contests, some of which review the book you enter. That is something. That my books usually make the finalists lists for their categories feeds my optimism that one of them will eventually win something. Even making the cut as a finalist gets the book some exposure, if only to other contestants and the reviewers. And there is always the hope a reviewer is someone important who might see the genius in the book that other, lesser, minds have missed.

When an email from Beach Book Festival arrived in my in-basket, I perked up. My Tookie books would be perfect beach reads. So, I entered the first one, the one Midwest Book Review* raved about, Only Tim Sent Flowers. Selecting a genre is always a challenge, especially since these contests don’t standardize the choices. I picked General Fiction, mostly as a default, and shifted my focus to other things.

Outlook has a nasty habit of shunting emails off to the spam folder almost randomly. This “feature” caused me to miss several important messages before I became aware of it. Now, I make a habit of checking the spam folder for good messages—except when I’m overloaded. While making a routine scan early this week, I was pleasantly surprised to find a message informing me that my book had made the winners’ list, meaning that it was either a winner, runner-up or honorable mention. A quick check of the BeachBookFestival.com revealed that Only Tim Sent Flowers came in second. Seeing eight other books listed as honorable mention gave me some consolation: my book was at least in the top 20%.

Contest officials wouldn’t tell me how many books were entered in my category but did say only 5% place. I chose to ignore the horse racing meaning of the term and interpreted place as meaning “getting placed on their winners’ list somewhere. That makes me feel better.

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Softcover Release & Trailer Are Out Now

03 Sunday Sep 2017

Posted by in Asperger's, coming of age, erotica, Fiction writing, humor, Jersey girl, Only Tim Sent Flowers, oral sex, Promiscuous, red hair, women's fiction

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OTSF front cover w outlineI had planned on writing about the effects of marijuana on fertility, a topic of some importance to both men and women of child-creating age, but the print version of Only Tim Sent Flowers was received yesterday, pushing the sexier topic off until next time.

A little before 7:00 p.m. yesterday, a Saturday, I saw the familiar brown UPS truck pull up my driveway. Surprised to see him at that time on that day of the week, I trotted out to greet him, thinking someone must have sent some financial papers requiring a signature that I wasn’t aware was coming. It turned out that he had the shipment of books I had ordered from my publisher, Black Opal Books.

Seeing the surprised expression on my face, the driver said, “Saturdays are a regular work day now.” It seems that UPS has contracted to deliver Amazon Prime packages within the shorter timeframe that comes with paying for that service.

But you say that I bought the books from Black Opal Books and not from or through Amazon. That is entirely correct. What has happened is that UPS hates to operate inefficiently. That means if they are running a truck on a route to deliver some Amazon prime shipments, they don’t want to send out a half-full truck. So, they also deliver any packages they have on hand for people on the route instead of waiting till Monday. I was the beneficiary of this policy.

This was good timing because I had been working on a book trailer and had it almost ready to make public. Because of a recent hardware failure that forced me to acquire a new computer that runs Windows 10, something I had been avoiding for years. One of the numerous shortcomings of Windows 10 is that the Moviemaker program has been eliminated. So, I had to acquire and learn a new program.

For reasons too complicated to go through here, I got Pinnacle Studio 21. It is harder and more complicated to learn and use than Moviemaker but has some nice features. The one I like, but don’t understand, is Scorefitter. I’ve only used it once, for a soundtrack in the book trailer for Only Tim Sent Flowers. Check it out and tell me if you like it or not. It can be found at: https://youtu.be/vAHvbJ7MEac

 

 

Coming of Age Novel Released

20 Sunday Aug 2017

Posted by in Asperger's, coming of age, erotica, Jersey girl, masturbation, Only Tim Sent Flowers, oral sex, Promiscuous, red hair, women's fiction

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The second edition of Only Tim Sent Flowers, the first of the three-volume Tookie series (so far), is being released this coming Saturday by publisher Black Opal Books in both ebook and print formats. Heavily revised to focus on Tookie’s coming of age, this version should appeal to younger (meaning over 16) readers in and about to enter their New Adult period as well as traditional readers of books with female protagonists. Told in first person POV (Tookie’s perspective) from an intelligent high-functioning Asperger’s who lives in her head, she shares her innermost thoughts (that she seldom reveals to others) with the reader.

Books may be pre-ordered from Black Opal Books and Amazon.com. Those interested in writing reviews can contact the author at GeorgeQKaplan@gmail.com.

Manuscripts for the second and third titles in the series, Finding Mr. Wrong and Tookie Goes Undercover have been completed and were recently sent to the publisher. No release dates have been set. With that writing, editing, rewriting, editing, etc. complete—at least until a publisher’s editor gets her hands on them—I should have time to tend to my blog more faithfully, especially since the newspapers have been filled with so many topics with potential.

2x6_bookmark - side 1

New Novel Completed

13 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in adventure, erotica, humor, oral sex, Promiscuous, red hair, women's fiction

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My second (third chronologically) novel in the Tookie series, Tookie Goes Undercover, has been completed and submitted to my publisher. This humorous women’s lit with sex and adventure starts with Tookie leaving her emotional wasteland of a husband of twenty years. Love affairs don’t work out and downsizing from the job she loves, leaves Tookie vulnerable to demands from the company and the government to put her numerous skills to work in an undercover operation.

Comments from beta readers have improved it immensely. One reader who enjoyed it asked me how many euphemisms I used for vagina in this book. Having no idea, I perused the text and recorded them on a spreadsheet. Noticing that I’d used numerous other euphemisms as well, probably because Tookie is such a sexual woman, I also logged all the words used for penis, breasts, intercourse, oral sex and masturbation. The first page of the spreadsheet has a column for each category with euphemisms listed in the order they appear in the book. Each category has its own sheet with its euphemisms sorted in alphabetical order. Open the spreadsheet here:  euphemisms

If you’re interested in reviewing Tookie Goes Undercover email me at GeorgeQKaplan@gmail.com. While I wait for a contract from the publisher to arrive, I must get back to writing the third (second chronologically) Tookie book, working title Finding Mr. Wrong.

No More Robotic Sex

04 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in erotica, Only Tim Sent Flowers, oral sex, women's fiction

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One thing I’ve never been accused of is giving robotic sex. Now, it appears that robots may soon become my primary competition for giving a man a good time. Earlier this week, VirtuaDolls jerked their Indiegogo campaign because of—get this—too much response. Most abandoned campaigns fail because of too little interest. Not VirtuaDolls. The builder tweeted, “Had to put the campaign on hold folks! Too much, too fast! We’ll be back shortly after we address a few things.”

This product looks to me to be a poor man’s (I can’t see a woman buying one of these unless she’d prefer subbing out that part of her marriage contract) holodeck[1] in which men would put on a VR helmet and attach the device to where it would give him the most pleasure. He would hold the “programmable pressure gripper,” which can vary how tight it squeezes and the speed of the “stroke motion.” Its sensors detect the power of the man’s thrusts to control the onscreen action. As far as I know the ST:TNG Holodeck didn’t provide these features.

Eos ships VirtuaDolls with an adventure called Girls of Arcadia in which gamers try to save a scantily clad damsel in distress. For those with little time to waste playing a game, “sim mode” allows them to pick a woman and go to it. Apparently, Eos founder William Spracklin thinks a single scenario and sim mode won’t be enough to satisfy customers because he suggested that his current staff doesn’t have the right talents to “help create an amazing experience.”

This is where I might have an opportunity. I love giving phone sex and making up all sorts of kinky scenarios but don’t have the right kind of voice for it. Although a mature woman, I still sound like a little girl. Where can I buy screenwriting software?

Always,

Tookie

[1] Star Trek: The Next Generation featured a room in which “hard light” holograms are created with “holographic projectors” to create virtual realities with interactive stories that were used for entertainment or to practice skills.

Girls of Arcadia

The Early Reviews are Good!!!

08 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by in Asperger's, coming of age, erotica, Fiction writing, oral sex, Promiscuous, Promiscurity, women's fiction

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It’s out finally! And the early reviews are good!

TAYLOR JONES SAYS: In Only Tim Sent Flowers by George Kaplan, Mary Louise (aka Tookie, although she doesn’t like the nickname) is a young woman with Asperger’s Syndrome, who is obsessed with men and having sex. The story starts out when Tookie is eighteen in 1969. Unhappy with her first boyfriend, who is devoted to her, she sheds him and starts hunting for someone more to her liking. Not especially pretty, and social awkward due to her Asperger’s, she gallops through men like wild horses on stampede. Believing sex is all she has to offer, she begins to study techniques and fully embraces the free love mentality of the sixties. But what she really wants isn’t a non-stop series of one-night stands, it’s a man who will love her for herself and give her the daughter she craves.

I was frankly amazed that Kaplan was able to pen such a realistic, flawed, human, and three-dimensional character who is a female, as that kind of depth in female characters is rare in male authors. You can’t help but empathize with this poor mixed-up girl, who is really very sweet. I give the book 4.4 Stars.

REGAN MURPHY SAYS: Only Tim Sent Flowers by George Kaplan is the story of a young woman who suffers from undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome. Tookie, whose real name is Mary Louise, is raised by overprotective parents who know there is something wrong with her, but they are sure just want it is. She obviously isn’t retarded because she is very, very smart. But she is very socially awkward. Deciding that she isn’t pretty enough to attract men without some added appeal, she begins studying sex techniques, becoming an expert at oral sex. Constantly on the prowl for Mr. Right, Tookie cuts a swath through all her male coworkers, single or married, going easily from job to job and man to man, all the time looking for love with all the wrong people. While in the background, Tookie’s first boyfriend, the only man who truly loves her, keeps waiting for her to come around and see the light.

Only Tim Sent Flowers is a heart-warning, heart-breaking, realistic story of an endearing misfit, struggling to fit in with a world that doesn’t understand those of us who deviate from the norm, whether by choice or disease, and doesn’t really want to. Kaplan handled the subject with both compassion and sensitivity. Bravo. I’m giving Only Tim Sent Flowers 4.6 Stars.

Read the first chapter here: 2x6_bookmark - side 2

 

Yellow is for Herpes, Green is for Chlamydia

29 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by in erotica, women's fiction

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Three UK high school students won a science fair award—one so important the £1,000 prize is being awarded at Buckingham Palace—for inventing a condom sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), VD for you old timers who served in Korea or Vietnam. The two 14-year-old and one 13-year-old boys won the prestigious best health innovation TeenTech award by embedding into the rubber special molecules that adhere to bacteria and viruses. When these molecules attach to an STD, they cause the condom to change colors. Not only does the condom change colors, it fluoresces so that it can even be seen in low light. A feature that makes this invention even more useful is that different colors represent different diseases present: yellow for herpes, green for chlamydia, purple for human papillomavirus, and blue for syphilis. Not known is if special molecules are available to detect gonorrhea or some other STDs. The invention is called S.T. EYE for detecting sexually transmitted diseases by sight.

The news article announcing the invention of S.T. EYE, http://news.islandcrisis.net/2015/06/students-invent-chameleon-condom-that-changes-colour-according-to-std-detected/, discusses using these condoms to determine if a man is lying about or doesn’t know he is infected, his lady (at least for the night) can have him pop one of these babies on and present for a short arms inspection before she lets him mount her. Left undiscussed is how a woman can test herself for infection or how a man can check a woman before infecting himself.

Since the molecules are embedded in the rubber, one would conclude that both sides of the condom would react when exposed to an STD. So, there must be a way for a woman to test herself. Putting a potentially infected man’s member into herself seems unwise but satisfactory alternatives exist. She can unroll an S.T. EYE onto her favorite dildo, vibrator, or vegetable of choice (after remembering to let it reach room temperature first) and slide the prod in, taking care to give it ample opportunity to come in contact with any possibly infected tissue. A man wanting to test a woman can surely convince his lady love that he’s just pleasuring her in a new way.

Steam Cleaning Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina

03 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by in erotica, Fiction writing, women's fiction

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I make a policy of ignoring any reference to Gwyneth Paltrow much like I avert my eyes when photos or, worse yet, videos of Kardashians enter my field of vision lest I be blinded or turned to stone. In Paltrow’s case, it’s to avoid the destruction of much-needed brain cells. However, she recently said or wrote something so bizarre I couldn’t resist reading about it, particularly since it was something that could possibly be fodder for a writer of women’s fiction or erotica. On her appropriately-named website Goop, Paltrow touts the benefits of steam-cleaning her vagina.

The above is not a misprint or typographical error, Gwyneth Paltrow claims her privates need regular V-Steams to function at peak performance. Goop gives instructions on how to give your vagina a proper steaming:

“You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release–not just a steam douche–that balances female hormone levels.” If you’re in LA, “have to do it,” says Paltrow, assuming everyone has a spare $50 to spend on a single 30-minute treatment or $200 for a five-treatment package.

Should the standard herb Paltrow mentions be too hogwartian for your taste, several other herbs can be substituted: basil, calendula, oregano, marshmallow root, wormwood and rosemary.

Jen Gunter, MD thinks Paltrow’s claims are bunk: “Steam isn’t going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT….If you want to feel relaxed, get a good massage. If you want to relax your vagina, have an orgasm.”

But if you’re a writer, bless Gwyneth for being a never-ending muse for concocting kinky or screwball scenes.

 

http://goop.com/city-guide/infrared-saunas-detox-spas-and-the-best-spots-for-colonics/tikkun-spa/