Upon spotting an “I’d rather be masturbating” license plate frame, a very high functioning Aspie woman I once knew said, “Me too.” In follow-on discussions, she revealed that she enjoyed her vibrators immensely and asked me to participate in phone sex with her—not once or twice but whenever she could steer the conversation in that direction. Only very recently did I realize she was just seeking more variety in the ways she pleasures herself. Thinking logically about sex for once, it makes perfect sense for an Aspie to prefer sex with herself over sex with another person. However, knowing that fact doesn’t make it much easier for a man who falls in love with an Aspie woman and wants emotional involvement from her.
A writer to “Woman With Asperger’s” on WordPress.com shared, “I will say a lot of the aspie women I’ve met and even the last one I dated are very youthful looking and gorgeous….I would even go as far to say she was a sex addict and sex was more of a routine than ever being meaningful.”* He pointed out two of the main problems neurotypical men who date “women of a certain age” face more often than do men who date younger women. Because Aspie women have more difficulties maintaining relationships than NT women, they appear disproportionately in the pool of the uncoupled, a factor which increases the likelihood a man over 30 seeking a relationship will encounter Aspie women in his search for true love. That, as the writer states, Aspie women tend to maintain a youthful appearance dramatically increases the chances men will be drawn to them like flies to honey. Once stuck on her as the writer was, the last part of his quote comes into play. A man in love generally wants his love to be reciprocated, especially in the sex act. Where a man not in love with the Aspie may rejoice in finding such a sexual athlete, a man in love needs emotional involvement Aspie women often cannot provide, possibly because self love, in the physical sense, is enough for them.
*His full comments can be found at: http://womanwithaspergers.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/unique-challenges-for-the-aspie-woman-part-2-functioning-in-a-love-relationship/#more-321