Tag Archives: borderline personality disorder

Is She an Aspie or Is She a Sociopath?

08 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Asperger's, women's fiction

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Are Aspie women sociopaths, victims of sociopaths, or both? Aspies are often mistaken for sociopaths because of their lack of empathy. Differentiating between the two can be difficult, even moreso when borderline personality disorder is thrown into the mix. One difference is that Aspie’s are often awkward socially whereas sociopaths are their most effective when socially charming. Aspie women’s physical attractiveness and naiveté combine to make them ripe targets for sociopaths. Love-starved Aspie women are extremely vulnerable to silver-tongued sociopaths’ considerable charms. The tendency of Aspie women to be attracted to Aspie men, who don’t flatter them and sometimes aren’t very charming, sets them up for unscrupulous men who know exactly the right words to say to get these lovelies to drop their panties without knowing much about their seducer.

As soon as the sociopath gets what he wants—and a long-term relationship with an Aspie woman isn’t usually one of his priorities—he moves on to another prey, or back to his primary ongoing prey who didn’t realize he was gone. If the Aspie woman is lucky, very lucky, she has a sex-filled weekend in which she does things for the sociopath she doesn’t want to admit to herself she did and thinks she’s finally found true love. After he doesn’t call or return her many calls, she won’t let herself accept that she’d been duped. Her biggest impediment to protecting herself is her intelligence. She assumes that her intelligence causes her to make intelligent decisions. This blind spot keeps her from acknowledging that she’d been had. She couldn’t have been wrong about his love for her. Something terrible must’ve happened to keep him from her. Maybe his wife’s giving him trouble with the divorce. Something’s gone wrong with his job. He might’ve been in a car wreck….

If she’s incredibly lucky, the sociopath won’t have given the Aspie woman an STD or have taken a significant amount of money from her. Next time we’ll consider what it’s like for an NT male to unwittingly fall in love with an Aspie woman.

Narcissist, Borderline, or Asperger’s?

27 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by in Asperger's

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One of the problems dealing undiagnosed Aspie women, besides being unaware the condition even exists, is thinking she might be a narcissist or have borderline personality disorder, especially when you thought she was normal, just on the quiet side. For years I thought a woman I’m now convinced is very high functioning Asperger’s, was shy and fragile. When she re-entered my life after decades without contact, she seemed to be a very different person than I previously thought she was.

Now I know she’d been telling me lies before but I didn’t know it at the time. However, the worst ones are those she tells herself. Her self-centeredness shines through now that I’ve discarded my rose-colored glasses. Learning she was an Aspie woman was neither quick nor easy. In an attempt to better understand what was going on with her, I searched the internet with terms describing her behaviors. At first, borderline personality disorder generally popped. When I added the self-centered behaviors to the list, narcissist personality disorder appeared. Later, triggered by a discussion of a friend’s autistic grandson’s behavior regarding the demise of the long-time family pet he played with by the hour, the light came on.

Searching jointly on Asperger’s, narcissist, and borderline returns numerous pages devoted to the difficulties dealing with people having these disorders and determining which disorder or disorders they have. So much overlap exists in the definitions that a lay person, such as myself, cannot definitively determine if an intelligent, attractive, youthful, self-centered woman who exhibits antisocial behaviors is borderline, narcissistic, or Asperger’s. Given that most adult women with any of these disorders won’t likely submit voluntarily to diagnosis and thinking Asperger’s is the most benign and least accusatory, I choose Asperger’s.