One thing I’ve never been accused of is giving robotic sex. Now, it appears that robots may soon become my primary competition for giving a man a good time. Earlier this week, VirtuaDolls jerked their Indiegogo campaign because of—get this—too much response. Most abandoned campaigns fail because of too little interest. Not VirtuaDolls. The builder tweeted, “Had to put the campaign on hold folks! Too much, too fast! We’ll be back shortly after we address a few things.”

This product looks to me to be a poor man’s (I can’t see a woman buying one of these unless she’d prefer subbing out that part of her marriage contract) holodeck[1] in which men would put on a VR helmet and attach the device to where it would give him the most pleasure. He would hold the “programmable pressure gripper,” which can vary how tight it squeezes and the speed of the “stroke motion.” Its sensors detect the power of the man’s thrusts to control the onscreen action. As far as I know the ST:TNG Holodeck didn’t provide these features.

Eos ships VirtuaDolls with an adventure called Girls of Arcadia in which gamers try to save a scantily clad damsel in distress. For those with little time to waste playing a game, “sim mode” allows them to pick a woman and go to it. Apparently, Eos founder William Spracklin thinks a single scenario and sim mode won’t be enough to satisfy customers because he suggested that his current staff doesn’t have the right talents to “help create an amazing experience.”

This is where I might have an opportunity. I love giving phone sex and making up all sorts of kinky scenarios but don’t have the right kind of voice for it. Although a mature woman, I still sound like a little girl. Where can I buy screenwriting software?

Always,

Tookie

[1] Star Trek: The Next Generation featured a room in which “hard light” holograms are created with “holographic projectors” to create virtual realities with interactive stories that were used for entertainment or to practice skills.