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About the time you think you’ve heard everything weird, such as Gwyneth Paltrow steam-cleaning her vagina, something even more bizarre drops over the threshold. This time it’s Vampire Vajacials, something I don’t think you’ll find in a dictionary anywhere. The proper name of this treatment is Rejuvulva, which involves injecting yellowish platelet-rich plasma (PRP) derived from a woman’s own blood back into her vaginal tissue. It’s supposed to plump the vagina, improve sexual sensation, boost libido, and increase both the frequency and intensity of orgasms. What’s not to like?

Dr. Daniel Sister, one of the inventors, claims that the treatment also has medical purposes (that maybe insurance might cover?) including decreasing pain during intercourse and improving urinary incontinence. So far, the treatment is available only in the clinics of its inventors: Dr. Sister in London and Nurse Claudia McCloin in Ireland for a cost upwards of £800 ($1,221 U.S.). They claim the treatment’s benefits last an entire year.

They claim the 30-minute treatment carries zero risk of side effects, rejection, infection, or allergy because the patient’s own cells are being injected into her. Some women might find the thought of having the business end of a hypodermic needle sunk into her vagina terrifying but at least one unnamed woman claims it was worth it:

It completely changed my world. I started to notice some changes in sensations on my way home but the next morning it was heightened and sex was amazing. I have never felt such an intense orgasm before.

This begs the question as to what she was doing on her way home (she may not have been driving) when she noticed (one assumes) pleasant changes in sensations.

Which American women are rushing to the British Isles for their treatments? When will it be available here? Perhaps commenters can shed some light on those issues.