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That gorgeous, youthful-looking-for-her-age Aspie woman is easy for men to fall for, particularly is she’s the type who not only loves sex but wants to excel at it, possibly to offset her poor social skills. While the relationship is in its infatuation stage her out-of-this-world oral sex will obfuscate her shortcomings, delaying the time her relationship skills become problematic. But when they hit, they hit like a cyclone.

The first time you need moral support from her, say when you lose your job or your dog dies, she will seem cold and unfeeling. As she becomes more experienced, she will learn to identify times she should show compassion and will develop a stock response for such situations. The problem is that, after her “I’m so sorry,” she generally has nothing further to say. She doesn’t intuitively know how to empathize with another person. Keep in mind that autism is all about me. Her brain is wired to concern itself with her needs, desires, and pains.

You may think you’ve hit a decision point in your relationship but, more likely, she’s hit one already. She probably finds listening to your problems draining and more than she can manage. She’s probably looking for an escape route. As she tapers down with you, she’s looking for your replacement. She’s dealing with conflicting needs simultaneously. She needs a man in her life but she also needs low-stress relationships. Highly emotional involvements are more stress than she can stand, so she moves on. Overlaps in relationships are the norm but, unless the outgoing guy is very intuitive, he doesn’t realize his relationship is over. No muss no fuss no screaming no fighting. She’s just dissolved into the ether.

She doesn’t feel that she’s failed at relationships because she finds defects in each man to blame the break up on. For commitment-adverse guys this isn’t a bad situation at all. They had great sex for some months, a year, two at the most, with no pressure to marry her. They may be befuddled by how it ended but they are left behind mostly unscathed. Some even have great tales to brag to their buddies about.

 

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